Who Would You Like?

As Spring bursts in to bloom, and things start growing again, so too do our hopes and expectations, not just for the end of this season, but for 2017/18 as well. With RK saying he is happy to fish in whatever league it takes to get the right player, I thought I’d help him out (being an expert and all that) by starting at home, in the dear old Premier League, and, from the bottom upwards, see if there are any players that might appear on his shopping list and would enhance the squad. Maybe these aren’t the top quality top flight players we also need, but they’d improve the squad. Purely idle speculation on my part, no accounting for the money, just a bit of fun.

Sunderland

Defoe as a back up striker off the bench

Pickford as an even better No1 than Robles is turning out to be

Middlesbrough

No one; maybe Negredo (finally) as a back up striker, but can definitely do better

Some are saying Gibson, but I’m not convinced

Swansea

Sigurdsson as creative force behind striker. Is he better than Barkley at the moment? Yes in my view.

Hull

Let’s have Niasse back for a laugh and a twitter meltdown (not serious boys and girls)

Maybe Robertson, but he’s gone backwards lately [insert obvious joke here]

Crystal Palace

Well, on current form, Zaha. Has he turned the corner and producing consistently?

And I know he’s on loan, but would you take Sakho?

West Ham

No one. Not even Valencia, even though he’s done well for us in spells. Maybe, if pushed, Obiang

Burnley

Everyone is talking about Keane, and I agree, and he can bring his mates Mee and Heaton too.

Bournemouth

I’d seriously take King, who seems to be getting better and better

Stoke

Nope, can’t think of anyone, unless you count Butland, but I think we’d need to see what he’s like post injury first. Joe Allen would be worth a shout, but he’d never come to us.

Leicester

Yes Indeedy as a back up to Gueye

Schmeichel as an even better option than the 3 ‘keepers already mentioned above.

Chilwell as a back up Left Back

Mahrez? Nah. Vardy? Nah.

Watford

Odd set of folk, can’t think of one stand out player I’d like, maybe Niang, but hardly fits the RK mould.

Southampton

Van Dyk if we’re able to break the bank.

Cedric is a decent Right Back

Ward-Prowse is quality, and will cause endless mirth as auto-correct changes him every time to Ward-Browse

Redmond is a tricky winger we’ve all talked about before, and appears to be more consistent than those wide players we’ve got already.

West Brom

No, you’re alright, I’ve got enough wardrobes in my house already.

Man Utd

I’m not going silly for the next few Clubs, because of course we’d love their top players, but perhaps, like Schneiderlin, there’s a lucrative under-card that might be surplus to their requirements.

OK, United first.

Mata and Herrera if Jose doesn’t rate them or if he gets in Messi, Neymar or such like. Herrera was the best player on the pitch against us, and seriously underrated in my opinion.

Does Shaw need a new Club to fulfil his previously highlighted potential? Do we even rate him? Not sure (as it were).

Rooney [insert 9652 words here on case for and against]. I would. Today. Tomorrow, I’ll change my mind. RK doesn’t have that luxury; I suspect he’s made his mind up, and we’ll back whatever he says.

Arsenal

Same qualifications as above!

Giroud? He’s an arrogant s*d, but stick the ball in the box and he’ll get you 20 goals.

Oxlade-Chamberlain is a good player and appears to be able to play a number of roles which RK likes. Can’t see him leaving Arsenal though.

Man City

Nolito if he’s going to leave as some rumour; always nice to finally get our man….like Riquelme, Moutinho etc

Not many others apart from the obvious, although that lad Stones at the back looks promising…..

Liverpool

Not even going there

Spurs

Plenty of talent there, but no one we’d get. None of their back up players, like the Wimmers or Janssens of this world look up to the task. I think their back-up XI looks quite weak, and they’ll go out and strengthen again in the summer with CL to be played (or at least until the Wembley hoodoo catapults them in to the Europa…..can hoodoos catapult?). And here’s a prediction for you. Spurs score a lot of late goals, and I mean a lot. I think form has certain patterns, and I don’t expect them to succeed like that next season; they’ll either score enough early to win, or end up drawing more games than they have this season, let alone lose a few more. No logic in what I’ve said, just a feeling (matron).

Chelsea

Fabregas. He’s been around so long, you’d expect him to be 38, but he’s still 29, 30 next season. Also amusing because his partner is called Semaan. Nothing funny in that. At all. Move on. Genuinely think he’ll leave Chelsea because Conte, ‘the ruthless one’ will use the money he gets for Hazard going to Real Madrid. Cess would be a great influence on the younger players too.

I’d take Ake in a heartbeat, but suspect he’s the long term doppelgänger for Luiz, who appears to be a half decent player after all.

Batshuayi? Maybe forced upon us if rumours are true, but not sure I rate him; having said that, hardly seen him play. Rather have Tammy Abraham if he’s available please.

 

That’s it; don’t take me too seriously, and I’m sure I’ve missed a few. And to reiterate, if we are to be solid top 4 next season, I don’t just want everyone’s cast offs, I want proven quality to improve the squad, and players who will develop with us as well.

Ross Crombie

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